I was Never Invited to the Table... Until I Built my Own

For a long time, I waited for an invitation.

An invitation to the table, to be noticed, the one where decisions were made, where ideas were heard, and where people who looked nothing like me seemed to belong without question. But the invitation never came.

At first, I thought maybe I wasn’t ready yet, I’m new to the industry, maybe I had to earn it. Maybe I need to prove myself more. So I worked harder, learned more, showed up early, researched as much as I could, and did everything I could to prove my worth. Still, the silence was louder than any rejection

So, I did what so many of us eventually learn to do: I stopped waiting.

I built my own table.

It didn’t happen overnight. It started small, a connection, a conversation, a space where I could be my full self and show what I was capable of without asking for permission. I shared my ideas, took up space, and made room for others like me to pull up a chair too. And then it became a mission…

And then something interesting happened.

Once I built my own table, people started to notice. Those who didn’t see me before suddenly wanted to collaborate, to learn more, to invite me to their tables.

That’s the irony of self-advocacy: you often have to prove you belong before anyone acknowledges that you do. It’s frustrating but it’s also freeing. Because once you realize you don’t need permission to exist in a space, you stop shrinking to fit into someone else’s version of success.

Now, when I sit at those tables, I don’t forget where I came from. I remember that I earned my place not by waiting for validation, but by creating it. I make it a point to notice who’s still waiting outside the room. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is not just build your own table, it’s to make sure others know they can too.

If you’re someone who’s got a really strong table - pull a chair up for the next person